Commuter combat


Sailors battling to get to work on the 07.30 from East Coast yacht port, Burnham-on-Crouch in Essex have been plagued for years by vandals, litter louts and graffitto ‘artists’ at the town’s local station.
The River Crouch’s sailing jewel is rapidly becoming the commuter home of choice by many yachtsmen who work in the city but who cannot afford London house prices.
But because the station is so isolated the town’s chavs – who have excluded themselves from the sailing fraternity – have targetted it as an adventure playground.
However thanks to a brilliant new invention they are running off to new pastures after being chased by a ‘swarm’ of high frequency ‘mosquitoes’.
One Railway have installed Welsh boffin Howard Stapleton’s mozzy device at the Burnham-on-Crouch station. It emits a modulated 17khz sound designed to annoy teenagers or younger irritants. Because of the normal loss of acute hearing that occurs with advancing age nobody over 30 can hear it!
From the age of 20 the human ear loses its ability to hear tones in the highest human-range frequencies (18-20 khz).
Well done Howard, I may be onto you for one to aim at iPod playing commuters on my own c2c train from Leigh-on-Sea to Fenchurch Street.