Chris Beeson reviews a book that blurts out what every sailor thinks when their patience is tested

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You know those dark thoughts that make you chuckle to yourself, those jagged little shards of malice chipped from the soul whenever you experience thoughtlessness, arrogance or sheer incompetence on the water? Skipper Swede, a Commercial Yachtmaster, has them too. He gets them all the time. Instead of keeping them to himself though, he’s written them down on 145 pages – and published a book.

The result is an ascerbic, irreverent, foul-mouthed and funny take on sailing and sailors, people you feel you too have met (if you don’t, bad news: you are those people). Like a sleep-deprived sea-faring Jeremy Clarkson, he rants and rails against bad skippers, charterers, marinas, coastguards, megayachties, maintenance, watch systems, weather forecasts and, tucked away at the back in what appears to be a last-gasp bid for atonement, a confessional collection of his own ‘blond moments’. Empathy vituperates from every page and it’s sure to raise a laugh from any sailor who has experienced those dark thoughts, and who hasn’t?

Buy it here for £13