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Hubbies going down the boozer too often has put many a good marriage on the rocks: one old sailor told me how his wife would come and slam his dinner on the pub bar at the Butt & Oyster in Pin Mill, Suffolk. 'I always knew how late I was from the gravy rings,' he told me, '...one ring per hour as the gravy shrank.'

So it was with great alarm I read James Jermain's news about his local pub, The Crooked Spaniards, being turned into a serial bridal suite. Not the sort of irony which I would raise a glass to.

Especially as I once spent a night there with James, his wife Phillida and daughter Katie. It was a good night, with excellent food and even better cider. I nursed a hangover the next day from Fowey to Plymouth aboard Gipsy Moth IV.

So here's a message to all sailors: complain, complain, complain.

Let's save this great waterside pub.